"Living the Job"

Getting back to my 'teacher' life (as opposed to my life as a Reading Specialist grad student).

It is 3:36 in the morning. I am awake, with my lunch packed and my morning coffee in hand, ready to start my day. This is normal.

I was always that kid who couldn't be persuaded to do my homework at night. I would much rather wake up early and finish. As we have seen, I am a slacker. Unless I'm down to the wire and something is due, let's say, in 3 hours, it is hard for me to motivate myself to do it. Hence, I've been getting up well before the sun all year.

It started at 5am (a standard time from my youth) and gradually edged back to 3am. Typically, I'll take anything after midnight, meaning if I roll over at 1:30am, I've just bought myself an extra hour and half hour of work time. 4:30 is now considered "sleeping in".

This all stems from a general philosophy I stumbled upon in my 1st first year of teaching. I was 24, fresh out of grad school and thoroughly overwhelmed. I was not ready to be a teacher. I wanted to put my feet up and relax a bit. While discussing this with a friend, I mentioned that to do this whole thing right it seemed like you had to "live the job". At the time, as you may recall, I had other interests and wasn't even sure I wanted to BE a teacher. Thinking about my job and my kids every waking moment of the day was not an option.

It is, however, how I have lived my life this whole school year. I'm typically up between 3 and 4am. I'm one of the first people at school by 6am. Our regular school day runs form 7:25 and 2:30. After school there's faculty and new teacher meetings, activities, or additional help for my kids. After that I grade papers, work on lesson plans or do some of my certification work. I try to make a point of being home by 7pm. My folk's and I watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report together. This is our family bonding time (I live with my parents, which means I don't have to worry about trivial things like paying utility bills or feeding myself). Then, it's to bed between 8 and 9pm, where I set multiple alarms so I can get up and do the whole thing over again.

I know I am headed for burn out. I often get frustrated when I spend my whole day working and still don't get everything on my to-do list done. As cheesy as it sounds, I take solace in the fact that I am doing the best I can. There will be no, "if I had just cared a little more..." guilt when/ if I come up short again at the end of this second time around.